You Can Forgive Someone and Still Not Trust Them | The Difference Between Forgiveness and Rebuilding Trust

Have you ever felt guilty because you forgave someone but still didn't trust them?

Many of us have been taught that forgiveness means everything should go back to the way it was. But forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. One can be given freely, while the other is rebuilt over time through honesty, consistency, and changed behavior.

In this episode of Healing After Hours, we're having an honest conversation about the difference between forgiveness and trust, why setting boundaries doesn't mean you've failed to forgive, and how to let go of bitterness without ignoring wisdom.

If you've ever wrestled with guilt because you couldn't return to a relationship the way it once was, or you've wondered if it's okay to forgive someone while still protecting your heart, this conversation is for you.

Forgiveness releases the burden of resentment.

Trust is something that grows when it has a reason to.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is forgive someone, pray for them, and still choose wisdom about how much access they have to your life.

Tonight, let's talk about the freedom that comes from understanding the difference.

⚠️ PODCAST DISCLAIMER

This podcast is shared for emotional encouragement, reflection, and faith-centered conversation. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care, therapy, medical advice, or licensed counseling.

If you need additional support, please seek help from a qualified professional.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You can forgive somebody and still not trust them. All right, let's talk about it. First and foremost, I need to remind you that forgiveness is not for the person, it is for you. Because just because I say I forgave you, it does nothing for the person. Like, because a lot of times when people do you wrong, they do you all kind of ways, they don't care if you forgive them or not. They did what they did, they move it on. They have no emotions, no feelings towards it. That's why forgiveness is for you because you have all the emotions, you have all the feelings, you have all the hurt, the pain from what was done to you. No matter what was done, you're gonna feel the after effects of it. You either can turn around for your good or you can hold on to it, and that's why forgiveness is a key component because we gotta remember, God forgives us for all the type of stuff we be doing now, or we did, you know, back in that day. God forgave us for it, and He's still forgiving us for different things we do. Now, each situation is different, it may take you longer than someone else to forgive. But listen, we can't make it a heaven with unforgiveness in our heart. That's why it's very important you work through all the issues that you're having, all the emotions, the feelings, the anger, the pain that you feel towards a person to allow yourself to forgive them to release that. It's not about just saying, Oh, I forgive you, or like it's just so easy for anybody to say, forgive, they did me so bad, it did this, that, and the third. But you're holding on to the act of things, you need to forgive to release that, and when you know that you forgave somebody, is that when remember what happened, it does not affect you like it did when it happened, it does not put you back in that place because you chose to move on and you chose to love yourself and to forgive that person, and they can bear those burdens, right? God will release you, okay. So, like I said, just because you forgive someone does not mean you trust them. Like, I can't forgive you because forgiveness is for me, but as far as trusting you, I don't have to, right? I don't have to trust you because you showed me who you are. A lot of times we're trying to make ourselves feel better by pretending that what the person did, like it did not leave like a stain. As far as leaving you in a certain place, I won't do it. Giving you certain things, I won't do it. Um, not I will eye you down, I don't trust you. Like sometimes if someone did something, you don't allow them back in your home. I don't trust you. Why would I allow you back into my space, into a place that that brings me comfort, a place that brings me peace? I don't have to do that. Nowhere in the word of God says I have to trust you. I have to love you because I do love you with the love of Christ, but I don't have to trust you. So don't fool yourself believing that just because you you've actually forgave somebody, you're gonna trust them and put yourself back in that same situation. You don't, you do not have to do that. Do not put yourself back in places, areas around people, around certain things, just to make it look good to other people because you know everybody knows you, so a lot of people somebody gonna know, but just to make it look good or to make yourself think you just that much of a Christian or you deserve God so much that you're just gonna put yourself back in places God never told you to be in. You really think if if Judas was still around and about that people gonna trust him with money? No, no, not gonna trust you. Why would you you just show me who you are? Why'd I trust you? So remember that if somebody show you who they are, believe them. Believe them. Stop trying to make up stuff in your head. Alright, I gotta let y'all go. But just because you forgive somebody does not mean you have to trust them. All right, let's.